"That's a surprise! The menu is still being planned." used to be our answer to this question from friends who we invite over for dinner. It was better to keep the menu a secret when the dish being prepared could end up as a surprise even for the cook. Many times, we have had to stash away a few dishes as they were not fit to be served to our friends. In those early days of cooking, I used to give this answer only occasionally. Now, after years of cooking, I give this answer more frequently!
In spite of the efforts to ramp up my cooking skills, the end result of tried and tested recipes is still not guaranteed. However, that is not the main reason for giving the same answer. Now, the question "What's for dinner today?" gets asked almost daily - by our kids! And this answer, to a large extent, avoids mealtime battles. When preparing something the kids already like, I give them the exact answer. When making something new which they have not yet tried, I beat around the bush saying I am not sure what I am making. Hearing the name of a new item or a dish made with an ingredient they did not like on first try sets the stage for an outright NO.
Rewinding back to my childhood, I can still remember how I used to say NO to any dish which had the slightest trace of yoghurt in it. I never used to like yoghurt. After umpteen tries from my parents, both of whom love it, I still could not eat it when I was in India. After coming to the U.S, I realized it was the smell that I did not like. In India, the yoghurt always has a strong smell which I still find difficult to tolerate. So much for having a long nose! That aside, the part that defies my current logic is why I used to not try any dish that had just a few drops of yoghurt. Call that the height of my pickiness!
Coming back to the present, life being really busy and a struggle to balance time between family and work, it is not easy to prepare something to cater to each person in the family. Though it is easy to let kids snack and eat something packaged and processed, that is not something we prefer. All of us eating the same meal without too many complaints would be ideal. Realizing there will always be a few things that each of us detest or can't tolerate, the aim is to keep that list minimal and keep our minds open to try new things.
Easy as it may sound, it is quite an effort to develop a positive attitude towards new varieties of food. Sometimes the trick lies in understanding what one does not like about a particular dish or ingredient. In our son's case, it is the texture that matters more. Using a different method to cook or coating with crunchy elements usually gets things past his texture test. For my daughter, she can't tolerate the heat of chillies and pepper. Reducing the heat or alternating a bite of hot food with cooling foods like yoghurt and fruits lets her savor the rest of the flavors. Once they start liking something, it is easy to leave out many of these customizations.
The nice thing was that the efforts at home were reinforced by my daughter's Pre-K teacher. As we speak another language at home, my daughter used to attend an ESL(English as Second Language) program. There was a good mix of kids from different cultures and countries. When the teacher hosted class events and lunches, she would insist that the kids be served a little of everything. She used to say that parents tend to give kids what they like trying to get past a meal without any hassles. She did make an excellent point.
After that year, I could see a great change in our daughter's approach to food. She is willing to give anything at least one try. With a little more effort to get past his stubbornness, her brother is also following suit. Both of them have become more appreciative of cooking, fascinated to see an ingredient they don't like being transformed into something they relish. They find it very interesting to say "I don't like tomato but I love tomato rice or if it is mixed in chaat (a savory Indian snack)", "I don't like papaya but I love this yellow curry made from it", "I don't like pears but I like it mixed with walnuts". The list is long and I can keep writing but it's time to get started with dinner preparations.
Now, if you ask me, "What's for dinner today?", my reply would be "That's a surprise!". Believe me, the menu is still being planned!
In spite of the efforts to ramp up my cooking skills, the end result of tried and tested recipes is still not guaranteed. However, that is not the main reason for giving the same answer. Now, the question "What's for dinner today?" gets asked almost daily - by our kids! And this answer, to a large extent, avoids mealtime battles. When preparing something the kids already like, I give them the exact answer. When making something new which they have not yet tried, I beat around the bush saying I am not sure what I am making. Hearing the name of a new item or a dish made with an ingredient they did not like on first try sets the stage for an outright NO.
Rewinding back to my childhood, I can still remember how I used to say NO to any dish which had the slightest trace of yoghurt in it. I never used to like yoghurt. After umpteen tries from my parents, both of whom love it, I still could not eat it when I was in India. After coming to the U.S, I realized it was the smell that I did not like. In India, the yoghurt always has a strong smell which I still find difficult to tolerate. So much for having a long nose! That aside, the part that defies my current logic is why I used to not try any dish that had just a few drops of yoghurt. Call that the height of my pickiness!
Coming back to the present, life being really busy and a struggle to balance time between family and work, it is not easy to prepare something to cater to each person in the family. Though it is easy to let kids snack and eat something packaged and processed, that is not something we prefer. All of us eating the same meal without too many complaints would be ideal. Realizing there will always be a few things that each of us detest or can't tolerate, the aim is to keep that list minimal and keep our minds open to try new things.
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Easy as it may sound, it is quite an effort to develop a positive attitude towards new varieties of food. Sometimes the trick lies in understanding what one does not like about a particular dish or ingredient. In our son's case, it is the texture that matters more. Using a different method to cook or coating with crunchy elements usually gets things past his texture test. For my daughter, she can't tolerate the heat of chillies and pepper. Reducing the heat or alternating a bite of hot food with cooling foods like yoghurt and fruits lets her savor the rest of the flavors. Once they start liking something, it is easy to leave out many of these customizations.
The nice thing was that the efforts at home were reinforced by my daughter's Pre-K teacher. As we speak another language at home, my daughter used to attend an ESL(English as Second Language) program. There was a good mix of kids from different cultures and countries. When the teacher hosted class events and lunches, she would insist that the kids be served a little of everything. She used to say that parents tend to give kids what they like trying to get past a meal without any hassles. She did make an excellent point.
After that year, I could see a great change in our daughter's approach to food. She is willing to give anything at least one try. With a little more effort to get past his stubbornness, her brother is also following suit. Both of them have become more appreciative of cooking, fascinated to see an ingredient they don't like being transformed into something they relish. They find it very interesting to say "I don't like tomato but I love tomato rice or if it is mixed in chaat (a savory Indian snack)", "I don't like papaya but I love this yellow curry made from it", "I don't like pears but I like it mixed with walnuts". The list is long and I can keep writing but it's time to get started with dinner preparations.
Now, if you ask me, "What's for dinner today?", my reply would be "That's a surprise!". Believe me, the menu is still being planned!
Very nice article deepa..keep it up. .
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement
DeleteHonored to be included in your blog post. Thanks for the tribute to my teaching. Your child's Pre-K teacher, Beth Cordier
ReplyDeleteMs. Cordier, thanks for reading. We are thankful to you for all your efforts.
Delete